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一篇英文短文寻求修改(1)

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一篇英文短文寻求修改(1)


        

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  • 2008-11-16 22:32:00
    thought everything改成think everythingcoming to the US 改成come前面用的就是giveif they are wrong or right改成whether they are wrong or rightperfect educations 把s去掉,教育是抽象名词,没有复数a lot better than改成much better thanis hell for you改成is a hell for youbut older people 改成old people就可以以上是我的建议。

    y***

    2008-11-16 22:32:00

其他答案

    2008-11-16 23:48:00
  •   Misunderstanding (‘Misunderstood’ is a verb; misunderstanding is a noun which is better for article names。) A lot of people who are going to a new country think that everything will be perfect there and the countries which they pursuit have excellent environmental conditions and comfortable neighborhoods。
       (‘going to be’ are more on third person’s tone while ‘is going to be’ are more on first person’s thus not very appropriate to be used in this sentence。
       ‘everything is going to be fine’ are more subjective and usually used in making other people feel better。) A lot of Chinese people who want to immigrate to the US will rather give up their perfect jobs in China and get restaurant assistant jobs in US。
       (Rather…than… is used when the first term is preferred than the second, but give up jobs in china and get a job in US are concurrent。
      ) After they have arrived, although they may be disappointed but they will still describe the US as perfect as they could to their friends who have not been to the US before。
       In fact, they were unsatisfied about how they have been treated by the US。 As Kang says, “newcomers need orientation before they leave their country as well as when they arrive in the US。
      ” (‘Have not come to somewhere’ sounds very weird。 Every time when you want to say someone has come to some place, immediately replace it by ‘have been to’。
      ) Of course, everyone has their。

    x***

    2008-11-16 23:48:00

  • 2008-11-16 11:21:00
  •   Misunderstood ~! Lots of people who are ready for going to a new country think everything will be perfect there and the countries will have excellent environment and comfortable living neighborhoods。
       So many Chinese people who want to immigrate to the US would rather give up their perfect jobs than going to the US to do restaurant jobs。
       However, after they get to the US, they may be disappointed, but will still describe the US as perfect as they can to their friends who have not been to the US。
       In fact, they are unsatisfied about what they have been treated in the US。 Everyone has their own。

    b***

    2008-11-16 11:21:00

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