请英语好的高手进！帮我改一下这个作文 提点建议也好啊
英语写作的作业：
Electrical-sport is a new kind of sports which is very very popular with young people.It is hard to say when it was born,may be the day the first “ture computer” was invented,and it is developing with personal computer’s popularizing.At the and of 2003,e-sport is recognized as the 99th formal sport.
Korea may be the country in which e-sport is the most advanced all over the world.There are many professional players,and some of them are the best in the world.The industry around e-sport cost more than 20 billion dollar every year.
But in china,the condition is not so good.In many cases,it is said to be children’s game,and in many parents’ eyes,it is a dragon.But it is still developing.In warcraft3,we have some players at the top of the world,for example,xiaOt,suhO,sky----he won the champion in Acon5,the first world champion of china in warcraft3.
第一段打算写电子竞技的历史，第二段是世界上的现状，第三段是电子竞技在中国的情况
想的多写的少，而且关于cs和sc我知道的很少，请高手帮帮忙啊
Electrical-sport is a new kind of sports which is very very popular with young people。It is hard to say when it was born,may be the day the first “ture computer” was invented,and it is developing with personal computer’s popularizing at first as a little game with workmates。
At the end of 2003,e-sport is recognized as the 99th formal sport。 Korea may be the country in which e-sport is the most advanced all over the world。
There are many professional players in all kinds of games such as "starcraft",and some of them are the best in the world。
The industry around e-sport cost more than 20 billion dollars every year。just as Korea ,others country have much more E-game match。
But in china,the condition is not so good。In many cases,it is said to be children’s game,and in many parents’ eyes,it is a fadness。
But it is still developing。In warcraft3,we have some players at the top of the world,for example,xiaOt,suhO,sky----he won the champion in Acon5,the first world champion of china in warcraft3。
so,everythingisdeveloping,andmoreandmoreisputthemeye' willmakebetterandbettercondition。
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